Sayonara, 2016

033

Long and I decided to make this post the last one of the year.  We are considering a reformat of the site, perhaps making it  little less about events and a little more about ourselves.  We’ll see how that works out.

I have taking some time to reflect on what this year has meant to me.   Long is relentlessly a “glass half full” kind of person,  and while I would like to think I am not unilaterally a  “half empty” type,   an argument could be made that I am a “apply a Volume=mass/density calculation to determine the exact amount of liquid in the vessel before making an empirical determination” sort of gal.

If I could sum up what this year meant to me, I think the word I would land on is “insecure”.  I have experienced insecurity in my career, my finances, my personal relationships, my physical health and my emotional well being.  I immersed myself deeply in the US election, and the results threw me into a dark place from which I have only recently emerged.  The Trump victory reverberated through many different aspects of my life.  It felt like everything I had been raised to believe in, that the progress that we have made in race and gender relations over the past few decades, was an illusion.  That I as a woman am only worth as much as my physical appeal will allow, and that as a woman of a certain age I have no currency at all.  That my dominion over my own body may be challenged.  That this sentiment was not one espoused by a single gibbering narcissist, but was embraced by 50,000,000 people in a country perilously close to my own back yard.

I was in a dire mood for weeks and I wore my anger like an uncomfortable suit.  I lashed out, was petulant and irascible in turns.  But then, a few days ago, I woke up.  I realized that I had to shrug off the temptation to retreat into my cave where I wished to remain resolutely curled up, shouting my rage to the world outside.

I suspect 2017 will be an enormously difficult year.  Indeed it may be the start of an enormously difficult, possibly violent period in our history.  But I cannot become an mere observer in this world, nor can I fight every battle that comes my way.  I have an opportunity to go to the Million Woman March on Washington in January, and I believe I will go.  While I cannot vote in the US, this march may be history in the making and I think there is a time when we need to find our community,  to stand up and be counted.

2016 was a tough year filled with confusion and loss.  2017 promises challenges on levels I cannot begin to contemplate.  But the only way to move forward it to take one step at a time and to be aware of your own power.  I will lift my gaze from the floor and concentrate on the horizon, so I can properly see what obstacles are coming my way in this new year.  I feel there is a battle coming, and now is the time to suit up.

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2 Comments on Sayonara, 2016

  1. Well put, Short.

  2. Very well written and well said. Many share your thoughts and concerns. To 2017, there are always bright spots 🙂

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